I have
opened the blog for quite a while now but have never posted anything. Actually I
wanted to start on a day when I really had something to write and today, I do
have something in my mind: something that is eating up my head and not allowing
me to have a second’s peace. Why do people live in the company of each other
when there is nothing to live for? And then they will always make you realize that
they are doing it for you, for their future generation. Why to have all the
show off when nothing actually remains? There was once a dialogue in a Hindi serial,
Uttaran that most of the relationships on which we depend so much have no
emotions attached to them-no love or mutual respect. There is just the
nameplate and people are afraid to put the nameplate off as they think that that
would be harmful to their so called reputation. I, in my own life have seen a
lot of such relationships around me which practically have nothing in them and
still they are together trying to amend old follies or brooding over their past
mistakes. Why to try to mend it at all? If things can’t be right, there is no
necessity to make them right, is there? My Physics teacher always says that
life can be changed at any instant of it as life is all about the decision we
take when placed in a particular situation. He is quite right. That’s what I believe
too. One mistake, one wrong decision, one irresponsible act should not be
allowed to spoil an entire life. So all the people who are brooding over past
mistakes or trying to set things right, let things go to hell at your cost but don’t
be in hell because of those stupid things of yours. Stay well and take care.
I went by your house last night again. It become a habit now passing by your place, drunk. Like it's some typical Bollywood movie. only it's not because I know what I am doing. I am in control and I'll never lose it. I looked up the window I used to always look up at. I saw me. Sixteen year old me. Patiently looking down from your window. There was a calm in her I know wasn't in her when I was sixteen. My breath grew shallow and paced up. There isn't anything the same in the both of us. You were right. I camouflage really easily and before I could know, I became this person. I think I gave in to the lifestyle; the parties booze and boys caught up to me and it's okay. I am not complaining. I won't say that that I detest the woman I have become. I absolutely do not think I should have been the way I was when I met you; fragile and easy to love. I don't want to be easy. I don't want to love the way I loved you, like a traveller in a desert loves a mira...
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