A few days ago, in reference to sending speakers to an event, somebody proposed my name. I was happy unless in a different context, a male acquaintance said: there should be a female face in the crowd. At another time, a kin was shocked to hear that one of my girl friends has bagged a fantastic job. Often, I have heard people of my age and generation say oh she was a girl, that's why she got the job. Now, I really don't know whats sadder: the fact that men, even in our generation subconsciously weighs women by their looks rather than their brain or multinational companies have to give something almost like reservation for women to maintain sex ratio at a workplace. But one thing is clear, hypocrisy runs in our veins thicker than blood. We run campaigns of women empowerment but ask women in our own families to adjust to the male chauvinistic patriarchal society. We say women deserve equal opportunities yet every time, a woman gets a promotion or applaud, we so casually say oh she had special relations with her boss. We associate words like goal diggers and opportunistic with women when they want to climb the social ladder. I'll give you a small anecdote. I'm not very proud of the way this society functions but I'll help you understand how crudely it actually does. A close older friend of mine worked her asses off for years to get a decent(which turned to a very high paid job real soon) job. She slogged, did overtimes, wrote thesis papers, did an immense lot of research and was finally nominated for the Best Employee Award alongside a male colleague. Then, the award got postponed. After dillydallying for about a month, something happened and the award was cancelled for the year. So, she naturally enquired and she got to know from his seniors; we're sorry but your colleague was taking things too seriously. He was probably getting offended that he'll lose to a woman. And I am not making this up. This was actually said by a government official in a high ranking position to his teammate: Sorry, we couldn't hand you the award you clearly deserved because a man friend of yours couldn't handle losing to a woman.
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If I started calling out every sexist joke I hear every day, if I started objecting to every casual comment I see people passing on the pretext of humour. I'll probably lose the rest of the few friends I'm left with. People, even of my generation don't quite see the difference between making a joke and disrespecting someone. I'm already called cynical, told that I'm unable to see the goodness in people, circumstances, situations, the world. Perpetually sad woman! Maybe I am. But when I see indifference of this kind around me and women bowing down to them because they have to be a part of the patriarchy, the dichotomous society brimming with its double standards, I really cant write about acche din(which by the way can't really be seen, can it?). They've given themselves into the tide and just try as hard as they can, to keep their heads out of water, to be a little more than a Barbie doll, to be accepted and applauded, recognized and rewarded, praised and belittled for what they do rather than how they look. I don't know if the patriarchy will be smashed but the dichotomy certainly needs to be eradicated!
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